Do You Think About Me?
by terrifying-pearl
Summary: Dazai leaves Akutagawa and Atsushi in a room with a little surprise.


"Okay! Ryu, come in. I have a surprise for you!" Dazai snickered. "Finally, you gave me someone to ship you with! You two could even commit double suicide together. It takes two-"

"It takes one of my hands to snap your neck," Akutagawa stated coolly, walking into the room and glancing around. "I...Wow. Alright. This is good, I'll give you that."

Atsushi was wearing white, fluffy cat ears, a matching tail, and a collar. "N-nya..." Atsushi mumbled. eyes looking everywhere but at Akutagawa. "This is just embarrassing. I said I'd do anything if I was given a comfortable place to live and steady income...but this? This wasn't in the contract."

"I don't know. I like it," Ryuunosuke scoffed and walked over, kneeling in front of the sitting boy. "You look good. ...Dazai, leave or I'll murder you and you'll never be able to commit suicide with a pretty woman or whatever it is you want to do."

"That's senpai to you! And ah~ So cruel! I'll go so you two can have your gross furry sex!" Dazai cackled and walked out, humming the tune to "it takes two" once more.

"Nakajima, what am I going to do with you?" Akutagawa clicked his tongue. "Honestly. You allowed yourself to get all wrapped up in this mess?"

"Hey! I didn't allow anything-"

"You could've fought him off. I've fought you. I would know, wouldn't I?" The black haired man stood up and circled the platinum blonde, stalking around him like a vulture would its prey. He had to admit to himself, the look wasn't bad. The weretiger dressed like a cat? It was fitting. Near laughable, but not quite. It suited Atsushi well, even Akutagawa could recognize that. "Atsushi," Ryuu said suddenly, scaring the daylights out of the other.

"Y-yes?" Atsushi swallowed the lump in his throat, looking up at the male.

"I think...We should experiment with this look. See what you can do in it."

"You mean more sexcapades?"

"Please don't call them that, that's wildly bizarre and inappropriate. Not to mention unnecessary."

"Right. Sorry..."

Akutagawa almost felt a smile cross his face at the boy's sheepishness. He'd always found it rather cute. Grabbing Atsushi's hand and helping him up, Ryuu pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss that Atsushi was quick to return. When they kissed, it always felt like the first time. Pure and right. Nakajima always got butterflies, and Ryuu always had a spark in his heart that let him know that he definitely did care for the other, lest he didn't care to admit it sometimes.

After a few moments the two were already undressing each other, which was normal for them. Their hands moved in sync, so perfectly, like they did this constantly. Which wouldn't be wrong to say, as they did frequently have these little "sexcapades" if they had the time and the space. The Agency knew of the duo's little affair, but the Port Mafia surprisingly did not yet. Ryuu just had to show up to the Agency acting like he was going to terrorize, but the only thing being raided was Atsushi's innocence. He'd blow something up before leaving and return to the Mafia building a hero. Simple. For now, anyway.

Ryuunosuke wasn't sure how or if he'd ever be able to tell the Port Mafia he was rather fond of the boy he was supposed to kill, capture, or sell on the black market. He didn't know what they'd try to do to him if they did know. Well, really, he did, but he didn't want to consider it an option at that point.

"Akutagawa..?" Atsushi broke the kiss, frowning at the other.

The black haired boy snapped out of his thoughts, looking at Atsushi. "Hmm?"

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what again?"

Nakajima sighed and pulled away, blowing a strand of hair out of his face. "Thinking."

"Thinking..hmm?" Ryuu let out a sigh of his own, running a hand through his hair and feeling a sneer cross his face. "They invade my thoughts, even when I'm not with them. Atsushi, you know I'm thinking about you, too."

"But are you?" Nakajima asked, looking at the ground. "Ryuunosuke. Do you ever really think about me?"

Akutagawa was a bit taken aback by the question. _Do you ever really think about me?_ ...It wasn't so simple of a question, as Ryuu rolled the thought around in his mind. He was supposed to be focusing on the other but he was focused on the consequences that he himself would go through if they were found. He had to admit, that wasn't entirely fair to Atsushi.

"Do you love me?"

Another question that absolutely stunned Akutagawa as soon as the words left Atsushi's mouth. He answered this time, though vaguely.

"I've saved you as many times as I've fought with you. I need you. You know that."

"Why? Do you want me around, or is it just that you need me?"

"Stop. Nakajima, enough of your low self esteem. You know how I feel-"

"But maybe I want to hear you say it."

They both fell silent, looking into each others eyes despite the awkward and tense air around them.

"I can't...take you seriously," Akutagawa finally spoke after what felt like hours.

"E-eh?"

"The cat ears. I just can't take you seriously...when you're wearing them,"

"What does it matter?! Aku! Say it! It's the least I deserve after you nearly killing me a thousand times to save face."

"I can't. I do, so much. But I just can't."

"Why?"

"Nakajima!" Akutagawa snapped, rubbing his temple with two fingers. "We've been through this a million times!"

"Maybe I'm sick of excu-"

To cut him off and end the arguing, Ryuunosuke pulled the boy against his bare chest, holding him tightly. He rested his chin on the other's head, sighing deeply. Breathing him in, his scent, his aura. His presence so necessary to the black haired male that he craved it even when he was fighting him. Atsushi didn't speak. He didn't want to fight anymore, either.

It wasn't _right_ , and it didn't feel right when they fought with each other, ironically. Physical fights were necessary, beating each other half to death for the sake of both of their lives. To fend off the suspicion of the Port Mafia and the others who would guess they were together. Verbal fights, fights that really got to the both of them, hurt more than anything in the world. More than any weapon. More than any knife or bullet.

"I...Atsushi."

"Yes..?" Nakajima mumbled against his boyfriend's pale chest.

 _"I love you."_

 _"I love you, too."_


End file.
